Thursday, July 6, 2017

Give your ten year old self advice

File:Traffic jam in Haikou, Hainan, China 01.jpg


Hello, ten year old self. This is a few things that you may want to read. Trust me down the road, you'll be glad that you avoided some of the things that are in this letter.

1) Don't play with stuffed animals! (No matter how much fun it was. Please just ditch the stuffed animals. Later down the road you'll realize that the other kids aren't too nice about that. In fact you'll get someone who will rip your favorite stuffed bunny in half. Just saying, these things will happen and yes you will cry for three days. Just throw him away now. Forget about him all together.)

2) Stop eating chicken nuggets! (Yes, this means no more McDonalds! When you get older you're going to realize that you totally hate chicken nuggets. So just stop eating them now. Eat more vegetables and don't become obsessed with your weight. You'll thank me later.)

3) Laugh more! (Nothing is wrong with laughing. No, seriously just laugh at everything. When you're older things aren't as fun as when you're a kid. So just laugh and don't be the emotionless weirdo kid that everyone doesn't like. Eventually as you get older, and become almost emo-like. So enjoy it now!)

4) Don't blow mom's car horn! (Yes that time in the car when you decided to blow the car horn. Then the airbag deploys right in your face. Yes before you do that, don't even sit in the passenger seat. Don't even go near the steering wheel. In fact just stay away from cars until you get maybe fifteen. Then you'll just be the nervous driver that can't park in the future.)

5) Watch more cartoons: (You'll thank me later when I say this. Your life will be turned upside down so many times. You'll wish you had the time to watch all those glories shows that captivated your attention span. Trust me, you're better off watching as much TV as possible; and doing less homework. Then when you get sixteen you can experience the honor roll and your first real pet.)

6) Don't throw mud on that weird girl's pink sweater! (Yeah, you'll come across Tammy. The girl that thought you were stupid. So you figured you'd just throw mud on her pink sweater. Just don't pick up the mud. In fact just let her waltz around until she falls on her face. Yes she does fall on her face after laughing at you for spilling your milk on the floor. You'll be more peaceful in the future. Just throw a rock at a bush or something.)

7) Don't wear jogging pants: (Just stop wearing jogging pants. They may seem cool now. But trust me they are not cool. In fact you become obsessed with the jogging pants that makes the swooshy noise. Don't wear those either. Just totally throw away all your jogging pants and wear jeans. When you get older, you're going to care about your appearance more.)

8) Embrace high school as it will be a mess!! (Just except it and move on. There will be loads of drama and there will be tons of embarrassing moments. You will discover tons about yourself. This won't be the best thing that ever happened to you. But just take it as a learning experience and don't look back.)

9) Don't isolate yourself: (Yes in fact when you start working at Target. You will really discover your true calling. Eventually you will meet some of the best friends ever at this job. Just let the time you spend there be a lesson in life. Just a heads up, you will get people who stalk you. Just sort of call security when you see them coming. This will make you less paranoid in the future.)

10) Speak now, and don't shy away: (When you get in fifth grade you will become so shy. Not even a cricket will want to be in the same room as you. Being a chatterbox is fine. But people will value your awesome listening skills. So embrace more talking and keep the listening there as well. Sometimes you'll find yourself drifting in and out of conversations. This only happens with your one friend who really talked about her cat as if this cat were a person. You will tell this person to 'shut up'. Just go ahead and say that. You two will become good friends and eventually you'll insult her and she'll never speak to you again. This is natural because you'll learn how much you hate everything!!)

Devon M

1 comment:

Vannessa said...

Thanks for the giggles Devon. haha. Nicely done on the blog guys! I shall bookmark it to read while I am bored :)