Thursday, July 11, 2013

Creative Writing...Introduction Posting

This would be the introduction to the story I posted last weekend.  Advice on how to improve the introduction would be appreciated, as well as comments.   
Nine Lives                                                                               Intro

There were empty tuna cans all over the floor.  Suitcases and bags that reeked of tuna lie empty on the floor as well.  The smell was traced back at the poker table, where its aroma hovered and mixed with the atmosphere of the room; a mountain of tuna rested in the middle of the table.  There a group of nine cats played poker around the table.  They had their ears up in the air, their tails resting lazily behind them, and their eyes looking suspiciously at each other.    

They were the cats that owned the house.  The mice were terrified of them, hiding in the walls.  Their weak, but lovable caregiver was permissive toward them.  The owner was gone for the night to get groceries, which gave the cats even more freedom tonight.  Together, these cats worked in mysterious ways.  Their power stemmed from their savvy ways and obsessive interactions with the animal population.  Tuna was in the center of their world.        

Four of the cats lived in this particular residence.  There was the brownish cat named Snowboots.   He wore white crocodile boots, a Texan style sombrero, and polished white whiskers.  He was notoriously known for bringing in tuna by any means necessary, from harvesting it from the trashcans to making deals with other local cats and transporting it back to the house.  Another cat, named Smokey, was of a rather beaten, grayish color.  He wore a hooded sweater that covered most of his head.  His rough gray coat was a symbol of years of running around the alleys to trade and distribute tuna for other valuable trinkets.  Sir Albacorky was a cat who made the mice take his part of the tuna, and distribute it among the animal population in the house.  In return, he received loyalty among the animal population.  He was also the ringleader among the cats.  A more respected cat, with a flashy velvet coat, gave a classy aroma to his part of the room.  The enforcer among this cat oligarchy was the brutal cat Dicocco.  His presence gave the room a shaky vibe.  His hair was slicked back, and was quite comical when setting the mood.  This chameleon personality brought unpredictability to his next actions.

The three special guests were sitting next to each other, preferring their own company, rather than that of their hosts.  One cat known as Leon profited greatly from tuna.  He encouraged everyone to consume tuna until they belch.  He wore a top hat along with a new tuxedo that gave no evidence of past celebrations or parties.  Another cat, named Generalissimo, sat with an upright, perfect posture.  The air around him felt heavy with authority.  He wore ribbons from his various accomplished victories in competitions, most of them occurring in the mall.  Ghostly was a cat that had a pale, pasty body that he prefer to hide from his clean presentable suits that he wore.  Much like Sir Albacorcky, he wanted the support of the animals that lived in the house.  He seemed greatly concerned with the interest of the animals, but took tuna with greater enthusiasm.  Easily swayed by tuna, corruption oozed from his fake presentable façade persona. 

As for the other two cats, they were mostly common guests to the house.  Both were seeking to be rich with tuna after this poker game.  Joe was a cat who had no home, but called the alley his residence.  He was the typical everyday cat who was just trying to survive life’s many catwalks.  The other cat that brought an enormous amount of tuna was known as Father Puddles.  In his religious ecstasy, he prayed to the lord that his hand of cards would manifest his winnings on the tuna.  

Tuna was the household currency in the animal kingdom, and it meant power.  That was what they were dealing, tuna, and just to rub it in everyone’s faces.  The mice were fascinated by the nine cats that rarely met together, especially for leisurely moments.  From afar, the poker table looked like a simple social gathering, but close up the air was a mixed feeling of intensity, greed, and great power.  The tuna in the middle of the table was the main attraction of the poker game.  The problem that the cats faced was simple.  There wasn’t enough tuna for everyone, at least from their perspective.  Snowboots recommended snooping around the fish market at the docks.  Leon encouraged everyone about how good tuna is  good for you.  A toast was made for the quote.  Generalissimo blamed the rats for not taking some food away from the dogs.  Sir Albacorky recommended bringing in more mice, and hiding the rat poison from the owner.  Ghostly stated how more tuna for them, and giving less to the mice, would make them even more in control over the house.  The mice were surprised to hear this from their only friendly cat, but all the cats pondered his idea and then nodded in agreement.  Dicocco just sat there silently.  Father Puddles preached how tuna can lead to bad ways, but then later started to put more tuna on the betting mound.  Joe only saw tuna as a treat, but not as a necessity like the other cats.  Everyone ignored his comment.  

Smokey simply looked at the tuna hungrily, his senses slowly fading and his instincts were starting to overcome him.  By this time, all the nine cats were looking at the tuna with wide eyes.  They forgot about the poker cards, the mice who where lurking in the shadows, and their owner who could be back any minute by now.  The tuna, in response, coaxed them with its smell to come further.  The cats were now laying their cards on the table, face up for everyone to see.  Their bodies now moving ever so closely to the tuna; they were eying the tuna as if they had won everything.  Finally, the alarming screen door could be heard opening, signaling the return of their owner.  In a matter of moments, the room succumbed to a feeding frenzy.  The cats were possessed by their survival needs, and leapt in the middle of the table for their share of the tuna.  By the time the owner stepped inside the room, no evidence of tuna remained except the odor that lingered in the room.  All of the cats looked at the owner with surprised wide eyes.  The owner dug inside her purse and retrieved a small can of tuna.  With their eyes now full of interest, they crept up to their owner.  Then with delight, some cats started dancing for the tuna, and others rolled over.  They cried for the tasty treat that meant everything to them.            


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