We test drive a UK Jaguar XE

You’d be surprised that not everyone wants a saloon from Audi, BMW or Mercedes. And for those buyers, the Jaguar XE is just the saloon they are looking for. 

There’s two petrol and two diesel engines to choose form. All four come in the guise of a 2-liter four-cylinder. Entry-level diesel makes the most sense financially if you desire a nice blend between running costs and flexibility on the highway. The more powerful diesel makes the most sense if you are spending the most time on the highway and will be doing the miles. Both petrol engines are very flexible for both city and highway driving. However, you’ll have to pay a slight premium in running costs. Pick of the range goes to the entry-level diesel. It offers a nice blend of running costs and purchase price, all while giving you just enough oomph for everyday driving that most will be satisfied with. 

The XE has always been dynamically better to drive than the BMW 3-series, and with this refresh nothing has really changed much in that aspect. What we love the most is how smooth and fluid the steering feedback is. It’s not heavy and doesn’t feel overly light around town either. The ride comfort is superior to the BMW 3-series as it handles the lumps and bumps of city driving nicely, all while being relaxing to drive on the highway. Wind and road noise won’t be much of an issue with the XE, unless you count the slight wind whistle from the wing mirrors. However, that’s just nitpicking at best. 

The interior of the XE is lightyears better than the previous years. The new touch screen infotainment system is much nicer looking and much of the interior bits and materials used are much improved. However, the user friendliness of the infotainment system is still not there. Some menus take some getting used to and the response times is still lackluster at best. However, it’s slightly improved over the ones we’ve sampled in the past, so any improvement here is a welcome.  

The XE offers plenty of space for four across the board. A third person in the rear seat maybe pushing it a bit in terms of hip and legroom. The boot space is decent, it may not be as spacious as some of its keen rivals. However, for most buyers it’s plenty. 

Standard kit includes LED headlights, power-folding wing mirrors, auto-dimming interior mirror, Bluetooth connectivity and leather seats. You’ll have to step up to the premium packs to get wood grain interior trim and ventilated leather seats. Rain-sensing windscreen wipers and handsfree boot operation are both standard across the range. 

The Jaguar XE is the saloon for anyone desiring a non-German option. It’s stylish, rewarding to drive and generous in standard kit. However, Jaguar needs to improve reliability. 

Likes: Engaging to drive and easy to live with. Both exterior and interior are much improved. Standard kit list is very generous.

Dislikes: Jaguar needs to improve reliability record. We’re going to miss the six-cylinder petrol/diesel engines. 

Spending Money at the Movie Theatre: Ninja Assassin

By: Felipe M

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“He looks like he should be in a boy band,” chortled a German law enforcement agent as he looked into a monitor where he could see the film’s protagonist chained up in a separate room as the prisoner, in turn, looks immediately right back into the camera that observes his every lack of movements, concerning the agent enough to ask “He didn’t really hear me, did he?” It is an obvious, funny reference to Korean-born actor Rain who, before playing Ninja’s main role of Raizo, got his start in the entertainment business as a member of K-Pop boy band, Fanclub. The rest of the dialogue for this film is lackluster as the core of this movie is focused on fast-paced action and visual effects to deliver pools upon pools of blood to the big screen.

The main plot tells the story, in flashback form, of a young, perhaps 10 year-old Raizo who was forced to train with the infamous, but stealthy Ozunu Clan to become an effective mercenary killer—or skilled ninja assassin (hence the title of the flick!). You’ll see the Clan attempt to dehumanize Raizo with numerous “pain is weakness leaving your body” exercises as he and many other kids just like him slowly, but surely turn into human killing machines. While at Ninja Assassin Camp, Raizo meets and begins to develop very strong feelings for a girl at the camp who bravely fights the Clan’s attempt to “train” her and even escapes from the camp—only to be captured and executed in front of her fellow Ninja trainees by a fellow Ninja trainee. An obvious turning point for Raizo, he would later attempt his own escape from the Clan only to be captured, maimed, and be left for dead. Now forward to the present in Germany, where the Clan is on the hunt to look for a female agent who is looking to uncover the Clan’s dark secrets and any other time, she would be murdered by the Clan’s highly capable ninjas before she can even inhale her last breath--except for the fact that Raizo gets word that she is on the Clan’s hit list and saves her life. The rest of the movie is a game of hide-n-seek between Raizo, the female agent and the predatory-like band of ninjas waiting to slice the two of them into a thousand pieces.

Despite the somewhat promising storyline, the script fails miserably in developing characters as Raizo is turned into a cartoon character as not only does he inflict unimaginable physical pain and suffering to others, but the damage his own body takes should leave the viewer wondering if the main character should just be killed to stop his own bodily misery. As mentioned before, don’t expect any semblance of dialogue from this film as even great, prefabricated quotes like the famous “I’ll be back” are nowhere to be found. Even the film’s supposed saving grace, the package of action that it promises, is too fast for the normal eye to keep up and even worse is the fact that most action takes place in the dark or, at best, in dimly lit rooms as to take better advantage of the story’s ninjas' stealthy abilities. You’ll find yourself trying to imagine what exactly is going on in scenes as the only clues you have are based on shadow movements before streams of blood begins to flow onto the screen along with flying limbs and body parts, and gushed entrails.