Saturday, July 28, 2018

Odd foods/ drinks you've probably never heard of

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Egg Loaf

You have a recipe that requires eight or ten eggs. However, who wants to go through the trouble of having to boil and crack egg shells? Japan figured that you'd not want to go through the trouble either and invented a machine that separates the egg shell from the egg white and yolk. Then combines the egg white and yolk into one large loaf. That's how you get Egg Loaf. A large lump of eggs that can make any food that requires a large amount of eggs a breeze. Although you may wonder how many foods will you cook that requires this many eggs?

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Carbonated Yogurt

Your kids are 'on the go' and they need food that can match their 'on the go' schedules. Why not pull out some fun carbonated yogurt or Go-Gurt (Fizzix) for breakfast, or maybe a nice little snack before practice. Go-Gurt (Fizzix) has the same nutritional values as yogurt but is more portable and needs no spoon for the 'on the go' kids. Listen parents, if you're kids are so 'on the go' that they need to get their calcium needs from a little pouch of yogurt with soda bubbles in it. Chances are your kids are on drugs, and you should sit them down and possibly talk about going to rehab.

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Whole Chicken in a can

We know what its like to be 'on the go' and so we mentioned that Go-Gurt (Fizzix) is a good way to get your calcium needs from a little pouch with soda bubbles. Now that you've had your fix, its time for a nice little sit down meal with the family. Since you're always 'on the go' cooking a nice home cooked meal is just way too long and doesn't fit your 'on the go' schedule. So why not just grab whole chicken in a can. That's right, you can buy precooked chicken in a can that takes little time to cook. Just look at that mucous that pours right out of the can, it makes for a delicious gravy! Don't worry about salmonella poisoning or the tasty afterbirth that may still be on the chicken. It's precooked and its probably so much easier than getting the real thing. After all you're 'on the go' and don't have time to cook or worry about your family having explosive diarrhea after this tasty meal.

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Cheeseburger in a can

You're at work and its one of those days where it seems like your lunch break is just so far away. You begin to get the craving for a cheeseburger. What's the most logical thing to do here? Wait for your lunch break and drive to a burger joint? No!! You only get a half hour lunch stupid! (And the nearest burger joint is 20 minutes away) But don't worry, you can always buy a cheeseburger in a can. That's right, cheeseburger in a can is the fastest way you can have a tasty cheeseburger without having to go all the way to a burger joint and get a real burger.

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Doesn't that look tasty?

 You'd think this tasty almost vomit looking burger would be cheap, but in reality it will set you back six bucks and you don't even get fries and a drink with it. Maybe explosive diarrhea after eating this, after all eating a cheeseburger in a can means that you'll want to get it out as quickly as you eat it.

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 Edible Plates

You've just finished a plate full of food and you're still hungry. The most logical thing would be go for seconds. However, you want to eat it all including the plate for some odd reason. Well you're in luck, edible plates are made from cassava, a versatile plant which can be used to feed animals, treat malaria, diarrhea and irritable bowel syndrome and, apparently, to make cookware easier to consume. Some may wonder well you have taco salads where the plate is made of fried tortilla, so why do you need an edible plate? In those cases however, the food is sitting on another plate the way food is meant to. Edible plates however are sitting directly on the table where your roommate does drugs and masturbates on top of and forgot to tell you he didn't clean the table off. Which means you'll need another plate to eat off the plate that you probably don't need because a regular plate isn't edible and you want to eat it all including the plate. Soon you'll be going through a cycle of plates until you go insane and break all the dishes in your house.

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Pepsi White 

Now that you've finished your meal on an edible plate that was eaten off a disgusting table. It's now time for you to wash down all that food with a nice fresh beverage. What's that? You need your carbonated yogurt fix, because you're so 'on the go' and just don't have time for a regular beverage like everyone else. Take you're 'on the go' self over to Japan and buy a Pepsi White. Yes Pepsi white is one of the many odd flavors that Pepsi sells in Japan. It's basically yogurt that's been mixed with Pepsi, so you can have your carbonated yogurt fix. Many describe the taste of Pepsi White as a cream soda with an unusual after taste.

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