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I decided to respond to an article that lists twelve things you should never ask your boyfriend. I find many of these quite funny actually, as I can see the situation being played out. However, I will explain why some of these situations showcase insecurities in a person and how some of these may signify deeper problems than just a mere ‘question’.
"Should I get my hair cut?"
I can understand this one being a legit honest question. I’ve asked my partner this a lot and I get a straightforward honest answer. “No, I think your hair looks great” or “yeah, maybe you should consider getting it trimmed”. I don’t see how this is a question that can’t be asked altogether? I don’t understand how anyone can get mad if they get an honest answer, and to say that well you didn’t like my hair prior to it getting cut signifies you really didn’t want an opinion, you just wanted to pick a fight.
"Which dress looks best?"
(Again) you ask for an opinion and get mad at the answer you get. I never get mad at the answers I get from my partner because I asked him and he answered it to the best of his ability. Not all men are afraid of giving their honest opinion on fashion, but to get mad at the option they choose is just annoying. I may not like the shirt that my partner likes, but I’m not going to make that the option if I’m seeking opinions. I will pick the two I like and decipher from there and if I need his opinion I’ll ask and lean into the direction of the opinion that was given.
"Do you want to come to my mom's birthday party?"
I do this a lot to my partner but he mostly just either says ‘yes’ or if he really can’t participate he will say I have plans. I’m perfectly fine with it. I have gone to functions without him and vice versa. I feel like asking your partner to participate and not forcing them is so much better. You wouldn’t want to be forced into a situation you didn’t want to be in, and it should be reciprocated.
Literally anything about your weight. Anything.
This is a question I literally don’t touch with a six foot pole. It can get quite sensitive for me and my partner knows not even bring it up, even though time to time I’ll weigh myself and he’ll try to comfort me when I get depressed about my slow progress of losing weight.
"Did your ex do this better?"
This is also a big ‘no’ in my books as well. I would never ask anything about my partner’s ex and ask if I’m better than that person. I’m not a direct comparison to someone else. I want to be the person that he became attracted to not a direct comparison or competition.
"Do find Jennifer Lawrence attractive?"
There’s a difference between saying hey I think this person is attractive vs hey want to get with that person. I’ve told my partner that I’ve seen guys I think were attractive looking and vice versa. It doesn’t mean we are lusting over that person, it just means that we have ‘eyes’ and we aren’t dead!
"How often do you masturbate?"
Some couples like to masturbate together. Some couples like to watch porn together. My partner masturbates but I don’t ask him about it because it makes for such a weird conversation.
"Notice anything different?"
I’ve never said this ever. I’d just show off what I bought or if I did something to alter my appearance in anyway shape or form, my partner will notice right away. After all, we look at each other (literally) every single day. He will notice if I bought a new shirt, got my haircut, shaved etc. It’s a little unfair however for those who aren’t as observant, it’s not that they ignore the little things it’s just they don’t notice them right away.
"Was that the best sex you've ever had?"
This is another one I wouldn’t ask my partner because it makes for awkward conversation. I like all the times we have sex because we are in a relationship and we are going to have to have some form of sexual attraction towards one another, otherwise we are just friends playing house. I can understand talking about things that turn you on sexually and wanting to try new things in bed but not ‘yeah was this better than the other times?’ and jumping down the road of argument.
"What are you thinking about?"
I’ve never asked my partner this and vice versa because we tend to be very open about our feelings. He knows when I’m upset because I wear my heart on my sleeve and I know when he’s upset because he’s very vocal about it. It’s all about keeping communication open between the two of you.
"Can we talk?"
This could mean anything. I wouldn’t take it as if oh yeah we are about to break out spill. It may seem a little daunting but at times in relationship the ‘serious’ talk does happen and well you have to be prepared for it. It’s like ripping off a bandage, once you’ve gotten over the sting the rest can just flow. I have pulled this card with my partner on several occasions and mostly they were about other scenarios and not us, it felt like a serious discussion so I used a serious tone. Communication in a relationship is important otherwise you won’t have a relationship.
"Are you still going to the gym?"
I wouldn’t bother ever asking this question unless I was looking for my partner to work out at the gym with me.
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