I decided to respond to an article talking about why 'I' should never get married. Let's jump right in.
You don’t believe in it.
Well, that's a good reason. I can see why one wouldn't want to get married because you don't 'believe in it'. You don't need 'marriage' itself to show how much you love and care for someone. However, some people find it the next step in 'showing' how much they love that person and how they want to spend the rest of their lives with that person. It maybe a meaningless ritual to some but marriage is more than just saying 'I do' and that's it. You are sharing and building your life with someone you love in a way that's different than just two people co-habituating together.
You want to save money.
Well, this one isn't really a 'good' reason. Anyone can argue that being in a relationship is 'expensive'. Owning a car is 'expensive'. You're going to have 'expenses' in your life whether you like it or not. It's how you budget your money and spend your money. You can be married and never own your own property. I know quite a few married couples that are renting and are perfectly happy with that. NEXT!
You don’t feel like you need to prove your love.
You shouldn't have to 'prove' anything. Two people who are married are showing their love for each other everyday through their actions. It's easy to tell someone you love them, but showing them you love them shouldn't be either 'proven' or 'made to be convinced'. Otherwise that isn't a marriage filled with love or a relationship that's loving and caring. You shouldn't have to 'prove' anything, both of you will know that you love each other and it's something that happens because the feelings are mutual.
You have trust issues.
I agree. You shouldn't be married if you have trust issues; in fact I'll take it a step further. You shouldn't be in a relationship if you have trust issues either. You cannot have a meaningful relationship with anyone if you cannot trust that person. People will come and go in your life, but it's unfair to throw your trust issues at someone who hasn't done anything to make you have trust issues to begin with. I get where you are coming from with this one. I really do, but this one is just plain odd.
You’ve never wanted to get married.
Well, you never will if that's the case. However, I don't see how or why this would be on the list. The first one seems to be a pretty legit reason. I'll give you the fourth one as 'trust issues' can ruin any relationship and marriage. However, this one is just stupid. You get married because you 'want' to not because you're being 'forced' to. We don't live in a society with 'arranged' marriages.
You disagree with the definition of marriage.
People define marriage differently. Do you know how many definitions of 'marriage' exists? Example, there are some married couples who have sex with other people but always go back to their partner at the end of the day. Some people define marriage as a life long commitment. It's been redefined so many times that well, the actual definition itself is just well up in the air at this point. You define your marriage the way you want it to be, as long as it falls within the guidelines of the law of course.
You don’t want to mess with the whole last name thing.
You are not required by law to change your last name. You don't have to change your surname at all. I don't see why this is on the list?
You want your freedom.
You want to be 'single', or in an 'open' relationship/marriage.
You like things as they are.
The only problem with this is that if you don't want to get married. You'll be wasting someone's time who might want to get married someday down the road. You should 'date' someone with common views on marriage or just be single for the rest of your life.
You’re not sure about the other person.
Well, marriage isn't a requirement. It's just something people do to express their love for each other. You shouldn't marry someone if you have doubts about that person, let alone be in a relationship with them having these 'doubts'.
You don’t even like weddings.
(Face palm)
You don't have to have a wedding. You can get married at city hall and have a celebratory dinner with close friends and family. You don't have to celebrate at all if you choose that. It's not required you have to have a 'wedding' but you have to have someone 'officiate' your ceremony so it's seen by as a legal marriage by law.
You don’t want to be the center of attention.
Do you not celebrate your birthday or any kind of achievements? I don't see how this correlates to just 'marriage' here!
You don’t want the stress.
Welcome to life sweetie, nothing is easy and there will be plenty of moments you'll be stressed out. Marriage shouldn't be 'stressful' if you are with someone you are compatible with. Yes you will have both the good and the bad but 'stressful' should be almost non-existent.
You hate the idea of planning a wedding.
Go to city hall and get married and call it a day. It requires very little to no planning whatsoever. Call your family friends and tell them you've been married and plan a dinner party to celebrate that. You don't have to have a 'wedding', it's not a requirement.
You don’t have a real reason for wanting to get married.
People get married for all the right and wrong reasons. I honestly think that down the road you'll meet someone who will change your views of 'marriage' and you'll want to be married to them because you care about them and want to spend your life with them. Maybe you both don't like marriage but want a relationship long term, which is okay also. Maybe you want to be alone for the rest of your life, that's also fine.
You’re already married—to your career.
Some people really are married to their careers and are perfectly happy being 'single'. The key word here is 'single'!
You don’t need someone to complete you.
Yes I agree, if being 'single' makes you happy then be 'single'. You have to make yourself happy first before you can make anyone else happy.
You don’t feel like marriage adds value to your life.
'Marriage' isn't for everyone and that's fine. But I don't get why it has to add 'value' to your life?
You’d rather spend your money on traveling.
You can be with someone that loves to travel also and wants to spend their money doing the same. You may enjoy traveling alone which is also fine. I don't see how this would be a reason not to get married?
The two of you are always fighting.
I agree. You shouldn't marry someone that you are incompatible with or always fight with. It won't be a very loving marriage if you're constantly bickering.
You love being independent.
You should be independent regardless of being married or in a relationship or single.
You’ve witnessed the drawbacks to marriage.
Your marriage and someone else's marriage won't be exactly the same! This is just stupid! I'm trying so hard here but you keep giving me dumb reasons, was this meant as a joke?
You don’t want to burden other people.
It sounds like you just want to be single.
You’re not overly traditional.
This is why you find someone compatible with you. You don't just find some random person on the street to marry and hope they aren't traditional in views.
You’re holding out on your partner changing.
Old habits die hard and if your partner isn't willing to change, move the fuck on!
You want to spend your time on other things.
This list should be reasons to be 'single' if anything.
Your relationship is like a hurricane.
If your relationship is like a goddamn hurricane, then you shouldn't be with that person period! Relationships need a foundation and stability, this was just stupid!
You like being alone.
AGAIN! This article should be reasons to be 'single'!!!!
You’re at different maturity levels.
You find someone compatible in all aspects and this problem won't be a fucking problem.
You’re not what you’d call “in love.”
Sounds like a budding relationship that's far from marriage territory, or another stupid excuse to be single. God, can we just rename the article - reasons to be single, bitter and stupid.
You’re anathema to change.
Don't get married! Also, don't be with someone who will want to get married. You'll be wasting their time!
You don’t like the idea of being a wife or husband.
Don't be a husband/wife. Don't be a boyfriend/girlfriend, just be single and alone. Secluded/isolated from the world. Focus on your career and your hobbies.
Compromising isn’t your thing.
You are going to have to compromise in one aspect or another. Marriage isn't the only thing that's filled with compromises. You're going to experience that a lot in life!!!
You don’t want to build up any more debt.
You keep talking about weddings and weddings and weddings. I mean for fucks sake people! You can get married without a wedding and you don't have to spend an arm and leg and foot to show your love for someone.
You think your partner is as good as you’re gonna get.
Some people do settle and those people end up not being happy at all. Well, some who do settle are happy. It depends on the person really.
You don’t like monogamy.
This is why you find someone that also wants an 'open' relationship/marriage. Or just stay single for the rest of your fucking life. I don't care! Point I'm trying to make here is that this doesn't belong on the list.
You don’t like your partner’s family.
Two-way street here. You may love your partner and hate their family. People don't choose their blood related family that's just not their fault. You can tolerate them and not have to see them daily but you are with that person not their family.
You’re only following the steps.
Following what 'steps'? There are no 'steps' when it comes to a relationship and marriage. Everybody doesn't move the same and every relationship/marriage won't be the same. The only 'steps' I can think of is getting to know the person to see if they are compatible and going from there. However, it's highly up to you and the person you with to steer the course of your relationship/marriage. It's not a installation guide where you step by step install a fucking IKEA coffee table.
You don’t believe in needing an other half.
If you don't believe in sharing your life with another person. You don't believe in relationships either. You want to be single! SINGLE!Again, SINGLE!!!
You’re annoyed with your partner 24/7.
That's more of a reason to dump a person, rather than marrying them.
No comments:
Post a Comment