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Ay, yeah
(When a pop song starts off with this line. It usually
means one of two things; it’s either going to be a cheesy lame pop song or shit
is about to go down. Literally off a cliff into a fucking volcano.)
Katy Perry,
Migos, ay
(It’s just a friendly reminder that it’s Katy Perry
singing; not Janet Jackson or Brittney Spears. It’s Katy motherfucking Perry.)
'Cause I'm all
that you want, boy
(Pretty bold line here. Also, how do you know you’re
all anyone wants or needs?)
All that you can
have, boy
(So we’re going from ‘all that I want’ to ‘all that I
can have’ in a matter of seconds. I question the ‘all I can have’ as it’s both
selfish and a very false statement. Plenty of fish in the sea.)
Got me spread
like a buffet
(We can go in so many directions with that line.)
Bon a, bon
appétit, baby
(One can only assume that you want me to give you oral
like I’m at a buffet. Also, the buffet example is terrible. It’s like calling
yourself a prostitute. ‘I spread my legs open for service.’)
Appetite for
seduction
(Katy Perry only seduces when she has the ‘appetite’
for it.)
Fresh out the
oven
Melt in your
mouth kind of lovin'
(Are you cooking me a meal? Or are you referring to
your vagina like a meal fresh out the oven? I’m so lost!)
Bon a, bon
appétit, baby
Looks like
you've been starving
(Again, starving for ‘sex’ or starving for ‘food’. The
way you’re using these innuendos. It’s safe to say it’s about ‘sex’?)
You've got those
hungry eyes
You could use
some sugar
(‘Hungry’ and ‘horny’ are two different feelings. I
know this song is most likely about ‘sex’ because it’s clearly not about
‘food’. No one on the face of the earth has ever said, I’ve got a sweet tooth
for some dick.)
'Cause your
levels ain't right
(How do you know what my levels are? Also, what’s a right
level and what’s a wrong level? What levels are we talking about here?)
I'm a five-star
Michelin
(Five-star in ‘cooking’ or ‘sex’? I’m guessing you can
cook a mean pot pie?)
A Kobe flown in
(As in ‘Kobe Beef’ flown in? Or your vagina just
flying around like imported beef? Or your vagina has moves like Kobe Bryant?
Utterly confusing line utterly confusing and stupid!)
You want what
I'm cooking, boy
(Are you talking about the preparation of actual food?
Or the freshening of your vagina? I’ll pass on both.)
Let me take you
(Where, to funky town?? Also, I wouldn’t follow you to
the nearest stop sign!)
Under candle
light
(Do you mean surrounded by candle light? I don’t want
to be ‘under’ any candle light.)
We can wine and
dine
A table for two
(Again, this song keeps taking so many twists and
turns here. Are we talking about sitting down having an actual mean? Or are you
talking about sitting on top of the table and I eat… I mean eat my meal that
you so happened to prepare for me since you are a five-star chef.)
And it's okay
If you take your
time
(I had no plans of rushing through my meal sweetie.)
Eat with your
hands, fine
(Depends on the foods we are eating. I’d prefer to use
eating utensils regardless. Oh, are you talking about your ‘vagina’? I’m so lost!)
I'm on the menu
(Are you on the menu? Or is your vagina on the menu? I
mean, what’s on the menu??)
'Cause I'm all
that you want, boy
(No you’re not!)
All that you can
have, boy
(I can do better!)
Got me spread
like a buffet
(Does your vagina spread on my bread like butter?)
Bon appétit,
baby
Appetite for
seduction
Fresh out the
oven
Melt in your
mouth kind of lovin'
Bon appétit,
baby
(Skip!)
So you want some
more
(Nope, I didn’t even want any to begin with.)
Well I'm open 24
(And that’s the problem. Sometimes it’s okay to be
closed for business.)
Wanna keep you
satisfied
(What will satisfy me is the ending of this song. Can
you make that happen?)
Customer's
always right
(So if I say your vagina is godawful, does this mean
that I’m correct?)
Hope you've got
some room
For the world's
best cherry pie
(Cherry pie as in cherry pie? Or vagina pie? I know
this has to be a sexual innuendo.)
Gonna hit that
sweet tooth, boy
(Something tells me that you’re going to hit more than
just my ‘sweet tooth’.)
Let me take you
Under candle
light
We can wine and
dine
A table for two
(for two)
And it's okay
If you take your
time
Eat with your
hands, fine
(Just say it. We’re going to have sex. Why oh why do
people reference sex with food? When was the last time you heard someone say;
‘boy I’m so horny I could eat a ham sandwich?)
I'm on the menu
(A menu from where? The Dollar Store? Dollar General?
99 cent or less?)
'Cause I'm all
that you want, boy
All that you can
have, boy
Got me spread
like a buffet
(You’re the kind of buffet that leaves you with the
bubble guts.)
Bon a, bon
appétit, baby (bon appétit)
Appetite for
seduction
Fresh out the
oven (fresh out the oven)
(Vaginas, baked fresh daily.)
Melt in your
mouth kind of lovin' (yeah)
Bon a, bon appétit,
baby
'Cause I'm all
that you want, boy
All that you can
have, boy
Got me spread
like a buffet
Bon a, bon
appétit, baby (bon appétit)
Appetite for
seduction
(Skip)
Fresh out the
oven
Melt in your
mouth kind of lovin'
Bon a, bon
appétit, baby (Quavo)
(Skip)
Sweet potato pie
(sweet)
It'll change
your mind (change)
(Is it really sweet potato pie? Or just you referring
to your vagina, again??)
Got you running
back for seconds (running)
(A smart person would run in the opposite direction
and continue running.)
Every single
night (hey)
(Every single night huh? Every fucking night! Get it?
Fucking every night! Ha-ha!)
I'm the one they
say can change your life (Takeoff)
(The real question here is it for the better or worse?
I think it’s for the worse.)
No waterfall,
she drippin' wet, you like my ice? (Blast)
(She’s dripping wet, but no waterfall; that must’ve
been some feast she’s cooking.)
Said she want a
Migo night, I ask her, "What's the price?" (Hold on)
(Someone says they want a ‘migo night’ which is a
night filled with alcohol drugs and most likely sex. The first thing you ask is
what’s the price? I’m even more confused now. Maybe this song is about Katy
cooking up crack rocks and cocaine? It all makes sense now!!)
If she do right,
told her get whatever you like (Offset)
(I’m guessing if she cooks the cocaine correctly,
she’ll get whatever she wants??)
I grab her legs
and now divide, aight
(It could be seen as an act of kindness to divide and
share the vagina, I mean cocaine.)
Make her do a
donut when she ride, aight
(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!)
Looking at the
eyes of a dime, make you blind
(I guess that means I’ll stick to looking eyes of a
nickel. I value my eyesight, thank you very much!)
In her spine and
I'm on some diamonds change the climate
(This line makes no sense, whatsoever!)
Sweet tooth
(sweet), no tooth fairy (no)
(I’m glad you clarified that for me. I can certainly
rest at night knowing the tooth fairy has nothing to do with this ridiculous
song.)
Whipped cream
(whip), no dairy (yeah)
(Katy Perry letting the world know that she’s lactose intolerant.)
She got her hot
light on, screaming, "I'm ready" (hot)
(This must be ‘code’ for the cocaine is ready.)
But no horses,
no carriage
(Fun fact: Katy Perry only rolls around in Honda
Civics. Fuck them horses!)
'Cause I'm all
that you want, boy (all that you want)
All that you can
have, boy
Got me spread
like a buffet
Bon a, bon
appétit, baby (eat it up, eat it up, eat it up)
Appetite for
seduction
Fresh out the
oven
(The only thing fresh out of the oven is my desire for
this song to end.)
Melt in your
mouth kind of lovin'
Bon a, bon
appétit, baby (bon appétit)
Under candle
light
Bon appétit,
baby
(More like get your dick ready, it’s time to have
sex!)
Overall: A cheesy pop song that’s trying to hide sex
in food references.
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